- Unbound Gratitude
- Posts
- Why Can’t I Just Be Happy for Them?
Why Can’t I Just Be Happy for Them?
Even grateful people compare. Even kind people feel envy. What matters is what we do next.
Gavin Kemp
April 20, 2025
In partnership with
We’re Moving Into Our New Home!
Starting next week, the Unbound Gratitude newsletter will come from a new home.
newsletter.unboundgratitude.com
We’re very proud of this new chapter.
When Unbound Gratitude began, it was a quietly shared idea. Now, it’s grown into something real, and this new home is just the beginning.
You don’t need to do anything. You’re already subscribed.
If next week’s issue isn’t in your inbox, check your spam or promotions folder and mark it as safe.
Same voice. Same depth. Now with a home that fits it better.
Welcome to Week 5 of The Shadow Side of Gratitude
We’ve journeyed through some of the biggest emotional blockers to gratitude—grief, guilt, and injustice.
This week is quieter, but just as powerful: envy.
Even the most grateful people compare. Let’s name it, defuse the shame, and make space for something more honest.
Week-by-Week Progress Tracker
Week 1: When Gratitude Feels Forced (Past Issue)
Week 2: The Guilt of Wanting More (Past Issue)
Week 3: Gratitude & Grief – Thankful and Heartbroken (Past Issue)
Week 4: Gratitude in an Unfair World (Past Issue)
Week 5: Envy, Shame, and the Comparison Trap (You are here)
Week 6: Holding Both – Rebuilding a Deeper Practice
Opening Reflection
There’s a moment you don’t want to admit.
You see someone thriving — posting the win, the milestone, the joy — and instead of feeling happy for them…
…you shrink.
Or spiral.
Or snap.
Or stare at your own life and quietly wonder:
“What’s wrong with me?”
This Week’s Emotional Truth
Comparison makes you feel like you’ve failed at gratitude.
But envy is never just about what someone else has.
It’s about what you fear you’re missing.
And if you trace it, without shame, you often find something deeper:
A value.
A need.
A dream you haven’t admitted out loud yet.
That’s the real invitation this week.
How to Hold This
Journaling Method: The Gratitude–Jealousy Split Page
In your journal, draw two columns.
Left Side: “What I’m jealous of…”
Write three things you’ve recently envied… honestly. No guilt. No pretending.
Right Side: “What I’m grateful for…”
Write three things you genuinely appreciate about your own life right now.
Then, ask:
What is this envy trying to tell me about what I care about?
That’s where the shame ends. And self-respect begins.
Need a nudge? Here’s one way it might look on the page…
What I’m jealous of:
A friend who got a book deal.
Someone’s perfectly curated home on Instagram.
A former colleague who just hit 10K followers.
What I’m grateful for:
The quiet time I have to write without pressure.
The shelf I built myself—even if the walls aren’t Pinterest-ready.
The people who reply to my emails with real connection.
What envy is revealing: I want to be seen. I want to know my work matters.
That’s not petty. That’s human.
The Reframe
Envy isn’t proof you’re ungrateful.
It’s proof you’re still reaching toward something.
Gratitude doesn’t kill desire. It keeps it honest.
Affirmation
“I’m allowed to want more.
I’m allowed to feel envy.
And I’m still allowed to be grateful.”
Thank you, 1440 Media, for sponsoring this week’s newsletter!
Receive Honest News Today
Join over 4 million Americans who start their day with 1440 – your daily digest for unbiased, fact-centric news. From politics to sports, we cover it all by analyzing over 100 sources. Our concise, 5-minute read lands in your inbox each morning at no cost. Experience news without the noise; let 1440 help you make up your own mind. Sign up now and invite your friends and family to be part of the informed.
Gratitude Gem
“Gratitude is not the opposite of envy. It’s the antidote to shame.”
Call to Action
If envy comes up this week, don’t silence it.
Listen.
Translate it.
Then meet it with something true from your own life.
That small act of honesty?
That is gratitude.
Until next week,
Gavin
Our Partner
I am proud to announce a partnership with Intelligent Change. (This is an affiliate link)
They create elevated, thoughtfully designed products to help you realise your potential and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
Use the coupon code UNBOUNDLIVING10 for a 10% discount.
If you know anyone who would enjoy these newsletters, please share them with them using the button below.
Welcome to Week 4 of The Shadow Side of Gratitude
Last week, we honoured the way grief and gratitude can coexist.
Now, we face something that challenges both: injustice.
How do you practice gratitude when the world feels cruel?
This week, we explore gratitude not as an escape—but as a quiet form of resistance.
Week-by-Week Progress Tracker
Week 1: When Gratitude Feels Forced (Past Issue)
Week 2: The Guilt of Wanting More (Past Issue)
Week 3: Gratitude & Grief – Thankful and Heartbroken (Past Issue)
Week 4: Gratitude in an Unfair World (You Are Here)
Week 5: Envy, Shame, and the Comparison Trap
Week 6: Holding Both – Rebuilding a Deeper Practice
Opening Reflection
There are days when the world feels unbearable.
You see injustice.
You feel powerless.
You’re angry and somewhere inside, you wonder:
“What good is gratitude in a world like this?”
This is the part of the gratitude journey no one talks about.
This Week’s Emotional Truth
Gratitude doesn’t mean looking away.
It doesn’t mean pretending the world is okay.
It means noticing what’s still worth protecting—so you have the strength to keep going.
When you feel helpless, gratitude is a protest.
It is a way to anchor yourself in what matters, so you don’t get swallowed by what’s broken.
How to Hold This
Journaling Method: The Anchor & Action List
In your journal, draw two columns.
Left Side: What keeps me grounded in a chaotic world?
List three things that remind you life is still worth showing up for.
Right Side: What small act of repair can I do this week?
List one or two things that are tiny, practical, and within reach.
A kindness.
A donation.
A conversation.
A boundary.
Your list doesn’t have to fix the world.
It just has to keep you tethered to your values.
Need a nudge? Here’s one way it might look on the page…
What keeps me grounded:
My niece’s laugh.
The tree outside my window that keeps growing.
The stories of people who keep helping, even quietly.
Small acts I can take:
Write to my MP about housing reform.
Help my neighbour with her shopping.
Take a news break and protect my nervous system.
The Reframe
Gratitude doesn’t mean approval.
It means refusing to become numb, give in, and stop caring.
Affirmation
“I see what’s wrong. I still choose to notice what’s right.
My gratitude is not ignorance. It is resistance.”
Thank you, Morning Brew, for sponsoring this week’s newsletter!
Gratitude Gem
“Gratitude doesn’t mean everything is fine.
It means something is still worth fighting for.”
Call to Action
Don’t try to fix everything.
Just find one thing that keeps you steady and one thing you can still do.
That’s enough.
And it’s more powerful than it looks.
Until next week,
Gavin
Our Partner
I am proud to announce a partnership with Intelligent Change. (This is an affiliate link)
They create elevated, thoughtfully designed products to help you realise your potential and live a happier, more fulfilling life.
Use the coupon code UNBOUNDLIVING10 for a 10% discount.
If you know anyone who would enjoy these newsletters, please share them with them using the button below.
Reply