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Why does gratitude feel fake when I’m burned out?
You don’t need to feel grateful for it to matter. Here’s the neuroscience behind why small gratitudes matter more when you’re drained.
Gavin Kemp
July 13, 2025
In partnership with
Welcome to Week Five of Gratitude in an Age of Burnout
This is the week most people quit.
Not just this campaign, but the whole practice, because by now, you’ve tried to “do the right things.”
You’ve paused. You’ve written. You’ve noticed.
But if you’re still feeling flat or disconnected, you might be thinking: “Am I doing this wrong? Shouldn’t I feel something by now?”
You’re not doing it wrong; you’re doing it while burned out.
Let’s reset the standard.
Week-by-Week Progress Tracker
Week 1: Energy Leak Audit
Week 2: 30-Second Loop
Week 3: One-Minute Anchor
Week 4: Micro-Contrast Method
Week 5: Neutral Lens Practice (You are here)
Week 6: Rhythm Reset
TL;DR
Burnout flattens emotion.
Gratitude might feel performative, but that doesn’t mean it’s not working.
The goal isn’t to “feel grateful.”
It’s to train your system to recognise safety again.
When gratitude feels like a lie
It’s hard to write “I’m grateful for…” when:
Your chest is tight
Your sleep is broken
Your joy receptors are offline
That’s because gratitude doesn’t bypass burnout.
It bumps up against it.
And if you’re exhausted enough, even noticing something good can feel emotionally expensive.
The guilt creeps in: “Other people always feel grateful, why can’t I?”
But this isn’t a moral issue.
It’s a nervous system one.
What you might be asking:
“If I can’t feel grateful right now, what’s the point of trying?”
What the brain needs most under burnout
Gratitude isn’t a feeling.
It’s an orientation.
You’re not trying to generate something.
You’re simply pointing your attention at something that isn’t a threat, and the brain learns through repetition.
Even if you don’t feel different at first, each neutral act of attention becomes a signal: “Not everything is dangerous. Not everything is pressure.”
It’s not healing in one go. It’s erosion in reverse.
You’re laying down new grooves.
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This Week’s Micro-Technique: The Micro-Contrast Method
What it is:
A sensory grounding method for when emotional responses feel out of reach.
Step 1:
Choose one neutral object in your environment.
(Your cup. A windowsill. The floor. A jumper.)
Step 2:
Write 3–4 objective facts about it. No emotion. Just description.
Example: “The cup is white. It’s half-full. It’s warm to the touch.”
Step 3 (optional):
Write: “I’m not grateful for this. But I’m aware of it.”
That’s the practice.
And that’s enough.
Gratitude Gem
“Gratitude doesn’t always warm you.
Sometimes it just helps you stop bracing.”
This Week’s Practice (CTA)
You don’t need to write what you feel; you just need to name what you can see.
This week, try one Neutral Lens entry each day.
Even if it’s dry.
Even if it’s silent.
It still counts.
Until next week…
You’re not behind.
You’re just building something invisible.
See you in Week 6.
Gavin
Daily Prompts and Affirmations
Would you like to start your day with calm and clarity?
Each day, we send a short email to help you begin with intention: one gratitude prompt, one affirmation, and one mindful challenge.
If you’d like to receive these daily prompts and affirmations, click the button below and select ‘Yes’.
We’ll take care of the rest.
Optional Companion
If you want something beside you while this shift continues, the Morning Gratitude Reset Kit is now open.
It’s not a journal.
It’s a structure.
A way to support the kind of person you already are.
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